Deep neck t-shirts

Raúl Peschiera on fashion faux pas

Everyone should listen to Sinatra. And I'm not just talking about the dulcet warblings of Ol' Blue Eyes. He had some style advice to impart too. "A man oughta blend with the night sky", he said once. And you have to admit that he had it pegged. Elegance is all about understated style. Build your statements with your wit, not your wardrobe.

So it's with some confusion that, as summer wanes, we find that the season of the "deep-V" has dawned. Unless you've spent the last couple of months hugging your knees in the crawl space beneath your desk, you will have noticed the flash fad of men wearing t-shirts with a V-neckline that sinks lower than your blue-chip pension.

Maybe we can't stop you from citing My Way as your personal Marseilleuse of fashion, but don't let yourself come to that slow but inevitable realisation that no one is laughing with you anymore. No one is intrigued by the mystery of your hairy cleavage. No one wants to watch you worry your necklace against that baby-soft chest. No one wants any of that. As low-slung trousers lend the wearer the sophistication of a four-year-old toilet trainee, so low-slung necklines could not make you look creepier if you scuttled beneath the dishwasher whenever the lights came on.

The quick click-clack of your spindly little legs scurrying across the tiles would certainly be more welcome than having to watch you self-consciously massage your bare sternum while talking about yourself. Please spare yourself the humiliation. If not for yourself, think of all the people around you and the embarrassment they feel. Man-cleavage is always a no-no. Show some restraint and ignore the rising tide of this unfortunate fad.

Keep it simple, keep it classic and focus on quality. Taste and decency in good proportion will keep you true. The deep-V t-shirt is a sartorial dead-end, which will only bring humiliation, heartache and giggling behind your back. Not to mention the occasional hard smack from the kitchen broom.